Good Morning

I'm at my desk admiring the balloons someone put in my office to celebrate new years. I'm curious whether they chose the colors to match our logo or if it just happened to be what the store offered them. Either way, I'm impressed and happy to have something special to look at all day.

I let my hair out today. Something I hardly ever do, but something I always wish I was confident enough to do. It's long (and still blond) now, maybe longer than it's ever been; atleast very close to it. I wish I could announce myself to you. It would make sharing a lot more fun, but not so safe - so I won't.

I woke up missing my lover this morning, but glad to have my love. He's the realistic choice. He really is. I've lived realistically, unreastically, in denial, in control... every which way, and realistic is what gets things done. It's what makes the world go 'round. It's what matters in the long run. My lover sent me a text last night telling me that he can't give me security, but he can give me love. That is what it comes down to. Isn't that a horrible, horrible choice!? Especially when his love is the kind of love that you melt right into. And when he holds me close, and I smell his deep musk, and breath deep - I really do think the entire world disappears....

And did I mention I have a teen-age son? He drives me nuts! "Obviously I'm going to do laundry Mom!"... there's nothing obvious about him taking an sort of action, ever... unless of course it involves something that contains no sense of responsibility. Grrrr.